If you did not read the first Post, please do so first or this one will not make sense.
After I Posted the first Post on this subject I received several comments and emails. This email from one of our members is the reason that Sexual addiction, or sex outside the bounds of a Marriage is so dangerous. This is the result!!
"I'm not sure I should say anything but I would like for men and women to know how porn destroys souls and relationships. My 20 year marriage ended because of such addiction and it destroyed our marriage and hurt so many people around us. As you know, I mourned for my ex-husband when he died , but what I think I mourned more than anything was our marriage that seemed to be second because porn was first (as any addiction). I think many men think that it's personal and harmless but nothing could be farther from the truth. As a wife, I felt degraded, helpless, and hopeless."
Now if that is not enough, Read the scripture below!!! For those who choose to fulfill the flesh, First Corinthians 6 tells us it actually is sinning against his own body.
12"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial.
"Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.
13..... The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?
Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[b] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Nothing in the Bible prohibits a man from enjoying sex within marriage to our spouse. Actually God gives us an amazing picture of Pure Romance between a man and woman in the book, Song of Solomon. Within Marriage there are no boundaries.. . But catch what Hebrews 13:4 says , Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. (The Message)
I made a commitment 33 years ago June 26, 1975 to love and cherish my wife until death do us part!! I plan to keep that vow. I am proud to say that Tonia is the only woman I have ever had sex with and plan to keep it that way until I die. But there is no guarantee. I have to continue to Guard my heart and think on the right things. I have to continue to stoke the the fires of love. I have to continue to see my wife as the beautiful person that God made her to be. I cant compare her with the Spray Painted , touched up pictures of models and those who are put out in front of us as men on a daily basis hundreds of times. I am as passionate about my wife as when I dated her 33 years ago and married that beautiful 19 year old. I desire her, I tell her often how beautiful she is and how much I desire her more today than ever. She is Hotter today than ever, and I want her to know it. Yes, it makes her uncomfortable, she gets a little embarrassed and tries to brush it off. But I mean it and I make sure she knows it!!! Guys , how can we expect our wife to respond to us when we treat them like trash, and they know we are getting our kicks with the Madame Whore, Proverbs talks about.
Ok, I have lots more to say, but what if your already like the man in Proverbs who is already caught up in the Madame whore of the Internet, magazine, or the prostitute on the street or screen. There is a way out. But you probably cant do it on your own. There are many things offered today for us to maneuver through this death trap. By the way, I have addressed mainly married men, but if your single, this applies just as much. You are not exempt to live as you will if you don't have a wife. Check out the verses I shared, most are for married or single.
Here is a comment by a single guy, who left a comment on my blog today: "beyond the Internet I know (as a Christian male in the church) it's awfully difficult when our sisters in Christ wear some of the same clothing we'd come to expect the '1 tracked-minded' women of the world.
I go to church to worship & I'm blindsided by body parts & flesh on women that take my mind to places it shouldn't be. It only doubles how difficult it is to stay pure as a Godly man.
I love a challenge, but sometimes I find myself crying out, God...u gotta be kidding me??? (you can read the comment in its entirety on my former post, I linked to above)
So Ladies!!! You ladies who are reading this even though , Its for men only!!! Take it from this guy, you have a duty also to watch you aren't the Madame Whore in the Proverbs, who calls out to the guy on the street, office or even church. I agree with the guy who comments here. As a Pastor it is unbelievable what I have to look at sometimes during my sermon. Some ladies dress like they are trying out for some sleazy magazine. I am not exaggerating, sometimes when our pastoral teaching team is teaching, and you can ask any of them, there are women sitting in the rows just in front of us with 3/4 of their chest exposed and little to the imagination. There is no cultural excuse like some say, or any other excuse. They are selling themselves!!!! Yes, in church!!! Ladies, please help us!!!
So ladies that is one way you can help us. Dress modestly, like scripture teaches. If your married give your husband the same respect and love you gave him when you dated him. Keep yourself the best you can physically. Stroke his ego, encourage him, build him up. (Go to our website and listen to the message on "Keeping the Sizzle in Marriage") While this doesn't guarantee your husband wont go chasing the Madame Whore on the Internet or else where , I believe he will be far less inclined to. NOW LADIES AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU KEPT READING THIS POST!!!! GOTCHA!!
Here are some tips that will help :
- Focus on the Family Website, has anonymous telephone counselors and lots of materials that will help.
- There are Christian counselors, at Sheridan House Ministries.
- Find an accountability partner.
- Covenant Eyes software that holds you accountable for sites you go to.
- Have at least one person who can check your computer at anytime. I have several , and one is my wife who has my passwords and can check my acct at anytime. Any man with a wife should share his passwords with her and hers should be shared by you. Im glad to know that God isn't the only one who can look over my shoulder at where im going on the computer.
- Cut out the Movie channels that don't have family movies, I found you save lots of money also. Ladies encourage your husband to do this.
- Keep your computer in a public place and not in a private room where you are alone
- These are practical things, but honestly, they aren't fool proof and we cant do these things without making sure we are Abiding in Christ and He in Us!!! Good Timing , we begin the Satisfying Life this week at Oasis Church. This alone will be a BIG Step!!!