XXX For Men Only, Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

This blog post is only for the Men. I want to have a heart to heart about something I realized a few days ago, that I had not addressed on my blog. "What Were You Thinking ?" is  the name. I try to be true to this in sharing what I am thinking. In my role as Pastor of Oasis Church I cannot always say the things I can on my personal blog. Or many times I choose not to.

The subject I am discussing is Sexuality. While reading another Christian blog this week the guy mentioned several sensitive subjects he has only addressed a few times, just because he is uncomfortable discussing them. Well it hit me, I don't think I have touched the subject of Male Sexuality even once this past year. It needs to be discussed. Why? Well we have an epidemic in the Church among mainly men in the way of unhealthy sexuality. It is sexual addiction. I do believe it is epidemic from all the signs I see and observe. I can give countless examples of good men who have been caught up in Immoral Sexual Addiction. Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe Sex is bad. That goes without saying it was actually invented by God himself, for our enjoyment. And most of us, as men, Enjoy it.

Where it concerns me is when it goes outside the bounds of marriage. As I was reading the Proverbs recently, which I do every day, I was reminded of the danger of letting sexual immorality creep into my life. In Proverbs Chapter 9 the Message calls her Madame Whore. She  sits on the porch on Main Street and calls out to the passer by and lures him in.  Proverbs 5 warns against the Seductive Woman, her words are smooth, soft and sweet!!! It also reminds those of us who are married to continue to enjoy the wife of our youth. 

Now most of us don't identify with this ancient proverb even when its written in a contemporary paraphrase, but let me break it down to what it could mean today. While the day of the prostitute waving most men down on US 1, or as the Proverb says, Main street doesn't seem to relate to most of us, (most men I know probably would never step into an adult bookstore/video shop) there are still the prostitutes sitting on the porches and the madame whores that are just as dangerous today. They are in our homes...the cable movie channels that most excuse as entertainment. We actually bring the Whore into our homes. The Internet!!! Never has Satan had a better way to grab us with the Prostitute and Whore the Bible speaks about than on the Internet.  It is so easy. It can happen before we know it. It can happen even if we don't look for it.

Just recently I was doing some googling of a very benign subject. I came across a church website in the list and was curious why it showed up. Well, when I clicked  it!! I t had some of the most pornographic pictures you can imagine. It was sickening. Under a church website. I had to make a very quick decision. Did I want to do a little research or move on?!!! It was an eye opener in more than one way. It reminded me how dangerous my computer is. How easily I can be sucked in to the Madame Whore that Proverbs is talking about. I do a lot of reading of Christian blogs and some secular ones. I visit a lot of church sites and ministry sites. But at anytime this can happen.

Now you say, "Pastor but you wouldn't be tempted"!! You've got to be kidding. I don't know of any healthy man who is not tempted at some point. The only men I have known who are not tempted and attracted sexually to a beautiful woman at times are those who are attracted to men. Pretty straight forward but guys, it can happen to any one of us. We are all tempted, let's be honest. We must put ourselves in the position not to fall. This is not easy when the Prostitute has moved into our offices, homes and computers. We must be Abiding in the fullness of God's Spirit to have a chance. It can be done but it isn't easy.

Now honestly, as a young man of 18 madly in love with my beautiful young girlfriend, who has now been my wife for 33 years this month, it was hard to not be tempted. But if you would have told me at 52 years of age I can still be tempted I would have said you're crazy!! I have the same desires and drive now as then. Age hasn't made a difference. The point I make is don't think with age you'll just get over it. No, as men God made us to be aroused by a beautiful woman with our eyes. That is the way it is. So we must constantly be on guard. I'm very concerned that many men are on the verge of losing it all because they have been caught by the Prostitute of Porn or Adultery. By the way, I have never met a man who was caught up in Adultery who did not have a Pornography addiction. Mark it down, you are in grave danger, if you're there.

There are no good excuses. We can always find an excuse and justify our actions. I have heard them all. She is a nagger, she is cold, won't have sex enough for me. She doesn't keep care of herself.  She has gained so much weight. She just isn't affectionate anymore. We can make all the excuses, guys. The simple fact is that God calls on us to live a pure life. It is not about her. It's about me and God. Are we abiding in Him? Is His spirit in control of my thoughts, eyes and actions?  Psalms 101:3 (Message) says "I refuse to take a second look at corrupting people and degrading things." When I live by this I honor God and I honor my wife. 

(Ok, I will come back tomorrow and finish my thoughts, and also give some links that might help some who are dealing with these issues. I'll also share some very practical things that will help each of us to avoid the temptation, or when it comes how we can escape giving in)  

 Ok, Ladies, I knew you couldn't stand it and would peek. You are so nosy!!! So if you did, make sure you read tomorrow's blog post because you can be a help to your mate in this area.

NOW FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT WANT TO CRITICIZE ME FOR MY TITLE XXX. I FIGURE IF I COULD GET TRAPPED BY A PORNO SITE  on a Google Search WITH The NAME OF A CHURCH MAYBE A MAN THAT IS TRAPPED BY PORNOGRAPHY MIGHT GOOGLE XXX AND GET THIS POST AND IT MIGHT HELP ONE MAN. WHO KNOWS!!!!!!   GOT YOUR ATTENTION !!!!!.

Comments

[Luke Gilkerson]

Thanks for your thoughts here. It is so important that we hold up a banner of purity in the church today. So many men are entrenched in addictions to pornography.

I work for a ministry that helps men (and women) with this struggle, specifically with Internet porn. It's called Covenant Eyes (based on Job 31:1).

We have a software program that helps to keep adults accountable for what they see online. It monitors all Internet use, scores web pages, and emails a complete record of one's Internet use to an accountability partner. Its used by tens of thousands all over the world.

If you would like some free pamphlets about us to give to the people in your circle of influence, I'd be happy to send some to you! We really want to see people overcome this temptation and find accountability in the church.

Blessings!

[Warren C]

I like that software program. However, beyond the internet I know (as a christian male in the church) it's awfully difficult when our sisters in Christ wear some of the same clothing we'd come to expect the '1 tracked-minded' women of the world.
I go to church to worship & I'm blindsided by body parts & flesh on women that take my mind to places it shoudln't be. It only doubles how difficult it is to stay pure as a Godly man.
I love a challenge, but sometimes I find myself crying out, God...u gotta be kidding me???
Internet porn is not an issue for me (thankfully), but I know that I struggle with thoughts, desires & tempting situations that unless verbalized no one will know of. It IS indeed a hard thing to walk that covenant line of purity, but I know God honors my very best efforts to do so.
Sometimes, what delights me about the whole process is the realization that no matter HOW hard I try to do it alone...I can't. Thus I have to humbly CONTINUALLY cry out to God for His guidance, help & forgiveness. It humbles me ALOT, and strengthens my relationship with Him.
Great thoughts Pastor Guy, because this is an issue that many are afraid to talk about, but can destroy a person from the inside out.
Anyway, that's some of my thougths. Keep on writing, look forward to part 2!